As Ye Sow, So Shall Ye Reap Crazy Fringey Dingbat Followers, Ms. Bachmann

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.

– H. L. Mencken

Alas, it’s usually only Mr. Mencken’s “common people” that get it good and hard in American democracy. Accountability is for proles, and we rarely see politicians suffer for being, on the whole, idiotic people who profess to want idiotic things.

But every once in a while cosmic justice does come around.

Case in point one Ms. Michele Bachmann, recently and very briefly a citizen of Switzerland. Switzerland? Switzerland! Who knew.


For those too lazy to click through to the Boston Globe story, Ms. Bachmann became a citizen of Switzerland at the same time as her husband, who is the son of Swiss immigrants. The Globe makes much gentle fun of this, as Switzerland is governed in large part by socialists, a political party which Ms. Bachmann has had unkind words for in the past (although perhaps that is only because she thinks our President is one and actually she is okay with all other socialists not named Barack HUSSEIN Obama DID I MENTION HIS MIDDLE NAME IS HUSSEIN?).

Ha! What a cute and quaint story. She sure looks silly. But really, best wishes to her and her family on their trips to Switzerland, where the chocolate is delicious and the cows adorable. Apart from a chuckle there’s really not much more to this story.

Oh, wait.

Yes, that’s right — I’d almost forgotten. Michele Bachmann owes her entire political career to a hateful coalition of xenophobes, isolationists, and bigots, doesn’t she?

What a pity it would be if they were to take exception to this wholly unremarkable family decision.

I don’t normally take much satisfaction in seeing politicians publicly flogged over private matters. But when the politician in question is so genuinely, terrifyingly insane — and so determined to inflict that insanity on all of us, with the full force of law — it is sort of nice to see them pilloried with the foam-specked fanaticism they worked so hard to froth up.

Ms. Bachmann bailed on her Swiss citizenship yesterday, stating

Today I sent a letter to the Swiss Consulate requesting withdrawal of my dual Swiss citizenship, which was conferred upon me by operation of Swiss law when I married my husband in 1978.

I took this action because I want to make it perfectly clear: I was born in America and I am a proud American citizen. I am, and always have been, 100 percent committed to our United States Constitution and the United States of America. As the daughter of an Air Force veteran, stepdaughter of an Army veteran and sister of a Navy veteran, I am proud of my allegiance to the greatest nation the world has ever known.

No one ever could have doubted it, Ms. Bachmann. Or at least, no one could have doubted it without years of training in rabid, ignorant hatred of all things vaguely “different,” which I suppose you did sort of supply.

It’s a pity more politicians aren’t forced to live up to the insane ideals that they profess to win elections. Maybe they would stop being so goddamn insane.

  1. Michelle Bachmann is so….January Also, did you not receive the memo that all references to her should be accompanied by a picture of her eating a corn dog?

    • But…but that rule would prohibit the wonderful “doggy-style” hug photo! Or maybe it’s not a hug; I don’t actually know what he was really trying to do there, just what it looked like when the camera worked its magic, capturing a pure and irreplicable moment for all eternity:

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