Posts Tagged ‘ internet writing ’

Lessons of a Changing Blog

On Monday I talked about off-topic blog posts and how they can be a good thing for readership.  That got me to thinking about this blog and where it’s wandered to over the years, and looking back over the archives really did highlight some salient facts for me:

  • I’ve gotten much, much better at formatting for the internet, particularly at adding white space and images to make things more readable.  Interpreting Rejection, or, About the Form Letter was the first sort of longer, list-formatted post I did, and if you click through you’ll see that it’s basically a big block of text.  Nowadays I’m far more likely to use bullet points, font/highlighting changes, and images to break lists up.  I’ve actually gone back and improved some of the most popular off-topic posts so that things like The Hunks of the Western Literary Canon are more presentable.
  • Speaking of off-topic posts, I’ve clearly increased their share of screen time over the year-and-some that this blog’s been around.  This is especially true in longer posts:  anything over 500 words or so is far more likely to be something like Badass Superheroes and Their Shameful Origins than the monolithic writing-tip posts I used to produce like the “Devil’s Details” post on Pacing.
  • I’ve gotten much better at internal linking.  Could you tell?

Most of these are just the natural evolution of an internet writer:  content gets shallower and shinier, simultaneously.  Chalk it up as part of the transition from “aspiring novelist” to “pampered fashion writer.”

Supermodels were also part of the transition, so it's safe to say I'm never looking back.

The plus side of this is that it’s overall a more engaging, entertaining, and easy-to-read blog than it was a year or so ago.  On the other hand, it’s probably not as valuable a resource to other writers, particularly if they’re just scrolling through the last half-dozen posts or so.  That’s likely to turn up a few short thoughts on writing, some pop-culture references, and maybe a picture-story about highly inappropriate advertisements for divorce lawyers.

But hopefully posts like this can at least be useful to other bloggers and internet writers, who can at least take away the lesson that naked supermodel bums never hurt anyone’s site traffic.  What do you think?  Is there any substance left below the style of MA101?  Did I tempt you into clicking through to a delightful new surprise hidden in the archives of the blog?  Drop a comment and let me know!

Internet Writing: Never Read the Comments

Do you write for an online audience?  Congratulations!  Now don’t read the comments.

I think this is a simple enough thesis that I don’t have to expand on it much.  Something with a small, friendly audience (like a blog, say) — fine.  The people commenting are probably mostly going to be saying decent, relevant things.  But as soon as you start talking about, say, a thousand page views, you’re talking about comments calling you a “mexican jew lizard.”

The subject of your writing does not matter.  God help you if you’re writing about any sort of politics, including local ones — if you cover a school board meeting that voted to add apples instead of tinned pears to the lunch offerings, expect to see something in the comments asking why libtard fags like you voted for a “moslem nig-bitch.”

But other topics are not safe.  In the interests of good reporting a took a deep breath and plunged into the Comments section of articles I’ve written on things like classical music and movie history.  Some winners include:

  • I call bullshit on a lot of this article.
  • the pretty girl [reference to an article photo] had smaller tits than an anorexic gazelle
  • *cough*douche*cough*
  • actors are all pussies
  • 8==8===D I have 2 penises!!1
  • Unions are just as socialist as that Kenyan motherf**ka Obama.

Once again, these are not particularly controversial articles.  They are humor pieces about entertainment.  Comments from actual news stories are by and large not reprintable.

Don’t read the comments.  I’ll leave you with that thought and with Mr. Period’s sage advice, courtesy of Penny Arcade:

Internet Writing: Sometimes Viral Marketing Works

Most readers know that this blog updates three times a week:  Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  So if the blog gets a startling number of visits on an off-day, I start to wonder why.  Did I do something sexy? I ask myself. Was I just particularly witty?  Was it something with dinosaurs?

Everybody loves dinosaurs.

It’s actually usually something like I stole the batman logo and a lot of disappointed comics fans wound up on the blog for like thirty seconds.  So I try not to get too excited.  (About the traffic, I mean.  I’m always excited about the dinosaurs.)

But in one of those weird moments of the internet working like it’s supposed to, I found out today that my blog has become suddenly popular with people trying to find out what Reachemol is.  Since Wednesday’s post was entirely about the clever marketing campaign that is Reachemol, I’m suddenly feeling more positive about this whole search engine thing that drives so much of online content these days.  I’ve done my share of SEO-focused writing (most of it for places other than this blog — y’all deserve better than that), and its rare that I actually see it direct people to what they’re looking for.  So color me touched that my careless mention of a viral marketing idea wound up dropping some viral marketing benefits in my lap too.

In fact, I’m now the fourth hit on a Google search for Reachemol, which I figure is about as expert as the Internet will ever think me to be on any subject.  And to think I would have missed it all if I’d kept my blog a little drier and more disciplined.  (It does tend to wander sometimes, doesn’t it?  I just feel like people get tired of hearing about writing mechanics day in and day out.)

So if you’re here because you’re wondering what Reachemol does and whether it will really make your penis bigger, go to Wednesday’s post to be disappointed.  If you’re here to learn a thing or two about writing and writing for the internet in particular (god help you), go ahead and learn from my happy accident — if you stumble across a viral campaign that you genuinely like, and have something to say about, drop the name.  It’ll probably give you a tasty little numbers boost.  And in the meantime your readers get some funny that you didn’t even have to work for.

And if all else fails, adorable ponies.

Fuck yeah pony indeed.  Image brought to you by http://fuckyeahnouns.com/, which will waste at least fifteen minutes of your life if you click through.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.  Off you go!

How to Write a Readable Writing Blog

You know what?  Today we’re not doing the numbered list thing.  People love ‘em, but I just count the number of entries wrong and look like a twit.  So today we’re talking about an indeterminate number of bold-faced points that help writing blogs stay interesting, engaging, and above-all readable.

Meet the <Enter> Key, Your New Best Friend

Later points will actually have to do specifically with writing; this one is for everyone.  There is a button on the left-hand side of your keyboard, just below the pipeline/backslash and above Shift, which says Enter on it.  Whenever you come to the end of a train of thought, or you just feel like you’d be pausing in conversation if speaking aloud?  Hit that puppy.

Like this.

Bam.

That makes even a reasonably long entry much, much, much less scary-looking when Joe Busy-As-Fuck Reader scrolls past your blog in his/her (it could be short for Josephine) RSS feed, or site tracker, or whatever.  And, just like in this and Monday’s disastrously numbered post, you’ll want to separate major ideas with bold-faced headers of some kind as well.  You can play around with keywords in those or not, as you please — I’ll talk a bit more about that Friday — but the important thing is to get some white space in there.  You’re competing with the entire internet for your readers’ attention, so you absolutely can’t look like work, and huge blocks of text look like work.

Have a Schedule; Keep to the Schedule

Hand in hand with that whole “don’t be work for people” thing — not everyone uses RSS feeds or other automatically-updating ways of keeping an eye on your blog.  Some people just click their bookmark every day.  If you have a regular schedule, they know which days to click and which not to.  I’ve always been M-W-F, and plan to stay that way for the foreseeable future; other people go for five or even seven days a week straight out of the door.  More power to them, but don’t start out that way and then taper off.  You’ll leave your early fans wondering what happened, and the fans that got linked to your page later on thinking that you’re one of those frustrating blogs that’s funny when it posts but not worth keeping track of on a regular basis.

Once in a great while, you just won’t have something to say.  I recommend finding a link relating to your subject matter (like writing — we are talking about writing blogs today, right?) and just saying “hey, this is relevant and y’all might like it” on those days, but even if you can’t, post something saying “today the space monkeys ate my socks and I cannot type without my socks.”

No, seriously.  That exact phrase.  Trust me.

If you know you’re not going to be able to update for a few days (camping trip, say), mention it in the last post you put up before vanishing, and mention when you’ll be updating again.  That way the first thing visitors see is the date they can expect you back.

Relate Everything to Writing — Everything!

If you blog about something else, you can probably replace “writing” with that thing and still use this advice.  Don’t be afraid to overextend a metaphor in the name of keeping your core audience happy.  You can get away with broader themes as well, but you need to stay at least slightly on-topic, or you’re just writing a blog of whatever goes through your head.  Unless you’re very famous or very funny, no one’s that interested in checking regularly to see what you’re thinking today.

I have, interestingly enough, given the exact opposite advice on this blog in the past.  I was a bit frustrated with overextended metaphors at the time.  But you’ll notice I related it to writing.

Make ‘Em Laugh

A smile will do, but shoot for laugh-out-loud, read-it-to-your-coworker levels of funny in your casual writing.  Be absurd.  Be abrupt.  Swear from time to time, but rarely enough that it’s funny when you do.  People do want real advice, but remember — competing with the whole internet.  There will be other sites giving the same advice you are, guaranteed.  If yours also has space monkeys…well, then you’re going places.  (Alcoholism also seems to get the laughs, you heartless pricks.)

Keep it Short

Notice how I’ve talked about this for two days and plan to string it out for a third?  That’s because I know that a thousand words is seriously pushing both your attention span and mine.  However awesome your advice is, look for ways to break it up and turn it into multiple posts.  If you get too wordy people start getting bored.  That’s all there is to this idea, so I’m going to stop writing about it — see how it works?

Never Number Your Lists

Nah, seriously, you can totally do that.  I’m just still sore about skipping a number and mislabeling Monday’s post.  Kudos to Nate Wilson of Sometimes, The Wheel Is On Fire for pointing it out to me in the comments.

And that’s the basics of a readable blog.  But how about a popular one?  We all know the numbers are really what it’s about…and they’re what I’ll be talking about Friday.  Stay tuned!

Writing Lessons of 2010 (or, “OK, OK, the Goddamn Year in Review Post”)

Hang in there.  Next week I am talking all about new things.  But let’s look very briefly at my last year in writing and pull a few handy lessons out.  I promise not to drop a single celebrity marriage/divorce reference, and to keep it under a thousand words.

I say that because writing for the internet was one of my big breakthroughs this year.  I’ve done a lot of it and been well rewarded for it, thanks to a couple of generous employers and some good old-fashioned luck of the draw.  Big Lesson Learned: the internet as an aggregate whole is kind of Downs syndromey, so learn to repeat key phrases loudly and often, and to live with the fact that three-quarters of what you say will never be understood.

Aside from that I got my usual practice in dealing with rejection, which hey, it’s a skill I can use when O Best Beloved finally snaps over the wadded-up towels on the bedroom floor.  My dedication to resubmitting stories slipped some, mostly in favor of projects with quicker turn-arounds and surer money, but I remain faithful to the basic Big Lesson Learned: Good work gets rejected, crap work gets published, and it’s because of forces entirely beyond your control.  No one accuses farmers or sailors of being crazy when they put their fates in the hands of ungovernable patterns year after year, so don’t let anyone say it about you either.

Because they live fantastic fucking lives.

I learned a thing or two about writing comedy that this blog may occasionally reflect.  Keep an eye out for new developments in that field this new year, since I only started aggressively pursuing publication (web-based) for humorous works in the last month or so of 2010.  Big Lesson Learned: A personal blog is a great dumping-ground for humor articles that get bounced.  Sorry guys.

Time management continues to elude me.  I’m a late-night, down-to-deadline writer and maybe always will be.  Big Lesson Learned: Keep the day job, because I’m actually less productive on days off — I can convince myself I have all the time in the world, and then suddenly O Best Beloved is home and wants supper and I haven’t done a lick of paid work.

Blogging — which long-time readers may remember me approaching with some ambivalence — remains a useful professional tool without my mining every social networking tool available for higher pageviews.  I’ll be writing more about this in the next week or so, so I’ll leave it at the Big Lesson Learned: Once you have a non-zero number of blog readers on a given day, your audience is no longer “every random person on the internet.”  It is those regular readers, so focus on providing enjoyable content on a consistent schedule, not on expanding your Twitter empire.

Ponies are still adorable, and I still couldn’t do any of this without O Best Beloved.

This went up way too late to say “See you in the New Year!” at the end.  Ah well.

Writing Life: Your Internet Connection, a Tool of the Trade

I’m not actually particularly tech-savvy, so this won’t be a helpful step-by-step article on how to get a better internet connection for free, unfortunately.   (Though if anyone knows where to find one of those, put a link in the Comments section, would you?)  But a brutal slow-down at home has driven home to me how web-dependent most modern writers are, especially those who (like me) get practice and pay the bills simultaneously with short freelance work, nearly all of which is web-based these days.

Here’s the break-down as near as I can tell:  even assuming you’re writing mostly for yourself, you still need to be working on outreach and self-publicizing on a daily or near-daily basis.  Whether that’s blogging, frequenting writer-oriented forums, chatting or e-mailing with publishing industry insiders, what have you, it’s almost certainly going to be done online.  Unless you happen to live down the street from Random House, networking happens online.  And sure, something like a forum or a blog isn’t exactly bandwidth-intensive, but remember the days of dial-up?  Webpages loaded slowly enough that you could see the white space turn into text bit by bit — now imagine doing your daily workload at that speed.

Crazy, right?  How did we ever survive.  (And, unfortunately, how will I survive, since that’s about the speed I’m getting just now…)

I’m not sure how we got so computer-dependent so quickly, but I do know that fast internet connections aren’t just for tech gurus or game addicts anymore.  Need images in an article you’re writing?  Your internet connection determines whether each upload is a tenth of a second or ten seconds, or thirty.  If they’re coming from somewhere else online, the load time of that page is going to make a big difference in how long the piece takes you, too, since you’ll be accessing it several times.  Even saving changes in a draft takes time, and it all adds up.

So get a pen in the color you like, find the notebook that suits your style — and shell out for a decent internet connection, even if it’s a nasty bite out of your grocery budget.  There’s nothing more frustrating than sitting there with words in your head and the keys at your fingertips while a little graphic spins in interminable circles on the screen, telling you that the page is still loading.

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