On Bachelorhood, and the Limits Thereof
I tend to always be involved with someone, or even several someones, regardless of any turmoils or calms in my life. Some of those attachments are even fairly committed and long-term ones. (Unfortunately, they’re also long distance ones, but that doesn’t change the emotional investment.)
Still and all, I like to think of myself as a bachelor.
I look at it this way:
- I share my apartment with a couple of friends from undergrad.
- I have my own room, in which I usually sleep alone, apart from occasional romantic visitors (and, of course, the cats).
- On that subject, I own a pair of cats that run my life.
- I cook for myself, generally things that involve too much cheese and meat.
- If I do laundry or wash the sheets, it’s usually because I’m expecting company and want to impress.
To my mind, that says “bachelor.” It’s less about the romantic status and more about the domestic one.
I’m living as a guy on his own; having wonderful ladies of whom I am exceptionally fond in my life doesn’t change the daily routine all that much. (When they’re not around. When they are around, it changes the daily routine considerably for the better.)
I suppose the oddest part of this is my stubborn defensiveness on the subject. I’m very anti-label in most of my life. I don’t really “identify” as any of the things you’re supposed to identify. I get squirmy and resentful if people call me gay, straight, bi, boyfriend, poly, serially monogamous, whatever. (“Queer” is okay, but only because it’s become such a broad term that it might as well mean “just as strange as everyone else, but not uptight about it.”)
But “bachelor,” I’ll fight for. Not very hard, mind you — I’m lazy — but I’ll argue a bit for my right to continue using it.
You do need something to talk about with the ladies.
UNRELATED NOTE: Remember, MA101 and friends (the above-mentioned roommates, in fact) are hosting a Halloween party in Madison tomorrow night. If you’re in the city, you should stop on by.
We also have a scary story contest on the blog, with the entries running next week. You’ve got all weekend to get one in still, and if you slipped one in on Monday I’d probably still run it, so check the details out in the original post and send us your writing!