Writing Challenge: A Good Fart Noise
I’ve had this one saved in the “drafts” folder just waiting for the right slow day — you might say I’ve been holding it in.
Sound effects are mostly the purview of comic strip writers. Dick Tracy has had some fabulously bad ones over the years, for example, including the infamous “QLUNQ” (pictured below), but also gunshots as varied as “ZOW,” “VEEN,” and “PINK.”
But from time to time a prose writer also finds needs for a bit of onomatopoetic nonsense. The literary excuses for slipping a sound effect in there are few and far between, unless you’re James Joyce (who is inexcusable anyway), but they do exist. You want to be ready for them when they come your way.
So this Friday I’m going to leave you with the titular challenge: write me a good fart noise.
No really. Try it. Blow a couple raspberries and try to figure out what sounds you’re making.
Do you start with a T or a P? The tongue is going for the T-shape, but the lips feel more like a P, or even an M. And all those flapping noises, are those H’s or F’s or what?
THHHHPT?
PPPFFFFTH?
THBBP?
You try it and see. Leave me some examples in the comments. I’d love to hear your explanations for them.
Aren’t Fridays fun around here?
Hahaha! Clever! I have to partake in the fun so I’ll submit “ffffrrrr” Silly, but awesome fun!
Sounds almost cuddly. Awkward, that.
This one is for the ladies, almost silent, but deadly: PFFFffffff-t.
This one is for the guys, sonorous and intimidating: BBWOOOOOINK.
Do I get an A for this assignment?
I might have to take points off for the gender binary…ladies can be sonorous and intimidating too, ya know! I like the “K” at the end, though; that might be worth keeping.
Well that will depend on the fart…as Carlin notes there are different kinds. I submit “thhhhrrrp” for the loose and “bbbrrrpp” for the more solid. Truly it depends on temperment and food.
Pfffttttt….That really sounds awful. Sounds like coming from Batman cartoons.