The 10 Unspoken Rules of Beer League Sports
You can tell you’re in a beer league when:
a) You play at a bar (usually on a sand court/lot).
b) Drinks are consumed before, during, and after the game.
c) No one cares.
If all of those things are true, it’s very important that you not play like a jock. There are plenty of clubs for that already. Beer league is for people with bad tans and soft muscle tone. And precisely because the crowd is so easy-going, being not easy-going is the one unforgivable social error. Beer leaguers will forgive you anything but a competitive attitude.
So respect the unspoken rules of beer league sports:
1. Whoever hits the ball out of bounds goes and gets the ball.
2. If you outnumber the other team by two (or more), spot them a player to even things up. Play hard when you’re on loan.
3. Once you’re up by a significant margin, stop pitching/hitting/serving/whatever hard. Rest your arm and give the poor bastards a couple floaters.
4. If you’re frowning, furrowing your brow, or yelling (not silly things), you’re trying too hard.
5. Winning team buys the losing team a round/pitcher.
6. Use your time-outs for beer, not for strategy.
7. Arrange the field as little as possible. If one guy has to be the pitcher because the rest of you can’t get it over the plate, that’s fine. Otherwise just wander out and grab a position.
8. If the ref saw a foul/fault/whatever, he/she will call it. Don’t turn to him/her and say “Wasn’t that _____?”
9. “Warm-ups” means drinking a round before the game. “Practice” means coming back for drinks on an off-night.
10. If it’s a nice night and no one’s got the field next, play two.