Weird Etiquette You Never Think About Before the Breakup
Yesterday we finished moving out the lady known on the blog (and to me for a number of years before the blog) as “O Best Beloved.” (If updates seemed a little slow and odd last week it’s probably related to that; if you didn’t notice and thought it all seemed fine that would be very flattering and relieving to know, so do mention it in the comments.)
The whole thing went about as well as these things ever do, for which I’m grateful, but at the end of a long relationship like that you start to think about pretty weird points of etiquette regarding future interactions. In a brain already prone to rambling it’s easy to get caught in a weird thought-spiral:
- Wait, does this mean I have to wear pants when she comes over to move her stuff?
- Yeah, probably. Man.
- What about a shirt?
- Christ but it’s hot.
- I guess I don’t look all that good with my gut hanging out anyway.
- But wait, I don’t have to try and look good anymore.
- Nah, fuck it, shirt and pants. Okay.
- Which shirt? Nothing she ever used as pajamas. That just seems weird.
- Do I really have to get up at 8:00 on Monday to help her carry coffee and doughnuts to work?
- Woman, you just dumped me. Carry your own damn doughnuts.
- Oh. I can have some of the coffee? Okay then.
It’s a weird place to be. But that’s pretty much the report from people who’ve been here before, so I’m just going to take the weird thoughts as they come, and potentially blog about them because hey. Gotta get some mileage out of this somehow.
Other weird etiquette you started having to think of after your breakup? Do share. My brain can always use more weird thoughts to chase around in hamster-wheel circles.