A writer writes about writing. Right…

Now I know a dozen eye-rolling bronies are going to jump on me if I don’t clear this up right at the start: yes, I know you can watch all of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic online for free. Why I wound up searching for it on Netflix is a long story with little of interest in it. All we need for today’s blog post is the result of that search:

You can’t mouse over these for descriptions in the screen capture, obviously, but I’ll help out just so we’re all clear what Netflix thinks pony-lovers might accept as a substitute for their Equestria fix:

The Border – 2008: A dramatic series set in a paranoid post-9/11 world, Toronto’s elite Immigration and Customs Security squad takes on tough cases such as terrorism, smuggling, assassination plots and all things concerned with the border.

Charlie Jade – 2005: During a murder investigation, an enormous explosion at a top-secret facility hurls cynical private eye Charlie Jade into a strange parallel world — where he’s soon reluctantly embroiled in a conflict involving three universes.

Afterworld – 2007: After a catastrophe annihilates nearly all of Earth’s population and renders all technology useless, Russell Shoemaker walks from New York to Seattle in the dim hope that his wife and child are still alive.

Just so we’re not chalking it up to a weird database error, Netflix does at least seem to understand what My Little Pony is about:

This enchanting animated show follows the adventures of Twilight Sparkle, a unicorn pony sent by Princess Celestia to Ponyville, where she and her pals Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash learn all about being true friends.

Soooo…something about the “sent by Princess Celestia to Ponville” triggered “border crossing” and “alternate reality” keywords somehow, maybe? Or maybe someone at Neflix HQ just really hates bronies and wants to mess with them?

Either way, I think it’s safe to say that the robot-overlords-in-training down in the basement trying to understand our brains well enough to make movie recommendations are still a few software generations away from SkyNet.

Guess they just can’t understand the magic that is friendship.