System of the World
It’s the time of year for self-improvement, and contrary sort that I am I’ve been under-preforming by even my low standards.
So late this evening/early this morning, as I was wallowing about in a hungover daze unable to sleep and deeply dreading my next poo, I got out of my under-appreciated bed, put on my best writerly duds (more on that later this week, I think), and decided that I was going to Straighten My Life Out. Shortly thereafter, the kitchen caught fire.
Okay — I exaggerated. Some loose leaf tea got spilled under a burner, unnoticed, and it went up in smoke as the coils heated. Not a life-altering disaster. But enough to set the cat howling and to teach me that the smoke alarm, even unsafely and possibly illegally removed from its mounting, still carries enough battery charge to beep incessantly at 4 AM.
Fucker.
It’s sort of hard not to interpret something like that (ha! reading the tea leaves…) as a sign to leave well enough alone and go back to the old messy ways. Aiding the temptation, the plethora of iPhone “organize your life” sorts of apps is so vast that picking one, learning its ins and outs, and getting all my various good intentions properly loaded into it is a massive To-Do list item just in and of itself. Not inspiring.
But on the bright side I have a newly lowered standard for self-improvement achievements: a day where I don’t set the stove on fire is a day where I’m making real progress toward better Geoffreyhood.
A standard we can all achieve? Or has anyone had a self-improvement kick start out even worse? Drop a comment and share your thoughts!
AFTERNOON UPDATE: Managed to pour hot ham and bean soup all over my desk, chair, and carpet while eating lunch at the computer. The success story rolls on.
I got out of bed this morning. I had breakfast, watered the plants, and then went back to bed. I’d like to think that getting out of bed the second time after only 1/2 hour of extra sleep is a sign of my burgeoning nobility.
You don’t want to start big with these self-improvement plans. It just sets you up for failure later.
Hm. “Getting out of bed” sounds like an achievable goal…maybe that’ll be what I try for tomorrow. If I haven’t burned the bedroom down by then.