Love Hearts: Actually Pretty Damn Creepy
You know them. The crunchy, tangy, sugary little candies people give each other on Valentine’s Day. Maybe someone gave you some today? Maybe they were even the delicious British version, instead of the flavorless bland Sweethearts we have here in the States. Did they say something wonderful and romantic? Were you just swept off your feet? Was it romance and poetry? Like…
Wait. What? Okay. Maybe that was just a leftover from some, I don’t know, school awareness campaign. Because…saying no to drugs is romantic, or something. There’s lots of Love Hearts to choose from. Look at all them:
We’ll just enjoy that bundle of Valentine’s cheer and forget about…huh. Wait. That…that can’t say what I think it says. Can it?
Gaah! Well…okay. They have to cover all possible occasions. Some people are sad on Valentine’s Day. It’s not like the Swizzles-Matlow candy company is actually advocating anything…you know…inappropriate.
WHAT THE FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCK?!?!?!
Okay, I take it all back. Get her flowers or something. These people are sick.