A writer writes about writing. Right…

No, not your computer desktop — although that can be Friday’s post, maybe.  I mean the actual, physical desk.  Writers tend to use them, in one way or another, though I suppose a few people have gone entirely to the backpack-and-laptop approach.

I feel like most of the stuff on my desk wouldn’t be there if I weren’t using it primarily as a writing space.  The computer, mouse, and keyboard would all still be there, certainly.  I’ve got ‘em, and I’ve got to keep ‘em somewhere.  But the rest?  Let’s take a look:

• Water bottle. Okay, it’s actually an empty fifth of Jeppson’s Malort (sort of like whiskey, only it hates you and everything you stand for).  But I’ve been using it as my water bottle for months now, and the water hardly even tastes bitter anymore.  It helps keep me from having to get up during marathon writing sessions, and as an added bonus it adds credit to my “alcoholic genius” image when people visit.

• Coasters. For putting my water bottle on, of course.  I’m not a savage, even if I do drink Malort.

• To-do list. Taped to the desk just to the left of my keyboard.  It’s actually pretty scary; I taped it down with bright red tape and everything.  It glares at me when I’m thinking about doing things that aren’t writing.

• Notebook/journal. When it’s not in my pocket, it’s by the computer, waiting for me to transcribe the latest scribblings into a more edited form.

• Random scraps of paper with drafts of things on them.  Same.

• Desk lamp.  For working at the computer, I prefer some gentle lighting a ways away from me; lamps turned down low in another corner of the room work well.  The desk lamp is for putting a bright light on the paper I’m transcribing from without casing too much extra light on my keyboard and screen.  This is because my beautiful baby blues are fairly light-sensitive, not because I like the darkness of my world to represent the darkness of my dark, dark soul.  Computers just give off plenty of light on their own.

• Pens, pencils, and sharpies. These are not actually at my desk because I compose with them there (the computer’s for that), but I do need to scribble notes on scrap paper pretty regularly.  It also saves me having, like, a “pen drawer” or something.  We are not that organized in this household.

• Headphones. O Best Beloved goes to bed well before I do; these are for when I want to listen to something extra-loud.  Or to things with lots of suspicious moaning and panting.

• Phone. Just my cell phone, but it usually lives on the desk.  This is summer, and I try not to wear pants if I can help it, and if the phone’s in my discarded pants pockets I don’t hear it.  So it’s near the keyboard.

• Calendar. It’s very easy to forget what day it is when you’re sleeping in between deadlines rather than in between evening and morning.  A desk calendar is one of several redundant systems I have in place to make sure I don’t miss one of the aforementioned deadlines.  It’s just a page-a-day thing that was free at work, though, not one of those huge ones for managers with boxes for every day of the month and space to pencil in your meetings.

• Bills and other overdue paperwork.  I should really get on that stuff, huh?

• Periodicals. Mostly the Wall Street Journal and the New Yorker.  I’m behind on both, but not as far as I am on the paperwork.

• The Holy Bible. Two of them, in fact!  One’s pocket-sized, but never manages to make it into my pocket.  I think they startle my visitors sometimes; I guess I just don’t have a Bible-reading kind of face.

• Hard candy. It’s getting pretty dusty.

• Neflix envelopes.  We’re working on The Wire right now; it’s very good.  We don’t have a TV, so everything gets watched on my Mac.  Works great as long as it’s just O Best Beloved and me.

• O Best Beloved’s hairbrush. Why is that even there?

And, no doubt, my cats, the moment I leave the room.  Sometimes they walk on the keyboard and rename items on my computer desktop.

Looking back over that list, I’m trying to figure out how many of the items would be there if I were, I don’t know, an investment banker or something.  Probably still the pens and scraps of paper.  The Netflix, though if I were making investment banker money we’d probably have a TV.  The cats, inevitably.  But otherwise, my desk is pretty solidly a writer’s desk, filled with the things that a writer needs.  What about yours?